So, I was watching "The Bachelor" and for the first time I saw myself in someone else. Many of you may know Moanna from the show. She was one who had the most difficulty in opening up to Travis. Afraid of being hurt she stayed in her shell. Once she gave this man all she ever had and became so vulnerable she recieved the ultimate smack in the face when he chose sarah over her in the final episode.
Moanna = Me.
Of all my friends there are very few who has not experienced this great joy of being in love. I guess I kind of blame myself for this. I never have opened up to any male I've ever been with. I've been too afraid of rejection. I mean, when I open up to someone, I too become vulnerable and at risk for hurt. Rejection hurts the most when your heart is in it. That has to be my greatest fear. REJECTION. So I guess I may have turned guys off because they may have expected more from me or wanted more and I just couldn't give it. I want to give it. I want someone there to love me as much as I love them. I want to be able to love someone with all my heart. I want to know what it's like to be in love. I just find it extremely hard to open up fully to someone. Maybe I'll meet the perfect guy who can teach me how to love. Show me what love is. This is my hope.
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