Have you ever met someone who had all of the world’s possibilities lying right at arms length but wouldn’t take hold of them? Have you ever met somebody who wanted some things so bad but never chased the desires of her heart because of fear? Have you ever met someone so afraid to try and succeed? That person is me.

I’m petrified of the future so I cling to the presence and marvel at the past. Things were simple back then. Things weren’t so complicated. It was a time when good things just came to me. Now that I’m older, things aren’t always handed to me. I have to go get them.

My fear is not that I am insufficient but that my sufficiency is far beyond my expectations. It’s quite oxymoronic I think.

I’d also like to just say that I am highly favored by the Lord b/c I’ve gotten so far in my life at such a young age and not because I deserved it all of the time. I didn’t have to work so hard to get to where I am now. Everything was easy for me and I thank GOD for His unmerited favor upon my life.

Anyway, I guess its time for me to gain some confidence and get in the game and stop watching everyone else play.

[Help me Lord]

- Preferential and Insecure