MEN... if u cant live with him u sure can live without him

"Love has not always been so lovely
So many lonely nights and wet pillows
At the end of the road it all hurt so badAll hurt so bad
So many heartaches
So much painIt all remains the same
I've never been enough for one man
Never been pretty enough
Never been cool enough
It always remains the same
I've never been good enough for one man
Maybe I just need to be alone
I can't hurt myself
I can't not be good enough for myself
The heartaches make so many scars inside
I'm so bruisedIt all hurts so bad
But it all remains the same
The facts aint never gonna change"


I saw that in a friend's away msg on AIM. The sad part is I'd say at least 50% of the females on my buddylist seem to convey the same message night after night after night. My question is... why do we let men have that much power over us when it comes to love and relationships. We spend our nights crying while he's catching up on his beauty rest. I say... CHEER UP AND GO SHOPPING! The man who is worth your tears wont make you cry! Never feel like you aren't good enough just because that fool can't see a GREAT thing staring him right in his ugly face lol. Men are blind until maybe hmmmm age 30 lol. Let them walk in darkness if they want to. There are to many fish in the sea to try to attain the stubborn one who just wont catch the bait!

~toodles~

LOVE LIVE LIFE

Making mistakes is a part of life.
I guess its time for me to learn to start living without regrets.
I do alot of things without really thinking about it and then It comes back to bite me in the rear.


....
Why do I feel so miserable all of a sudden? One minute I'm up and laughing and just that quick I'm back down in the dumps. I've been feeding my carnal so much that I've neglected my spirit. And that is def. a problem.


gnite

WHY is there an entire heap of these disgustingly negative people around me. I'd be wrong to start airing people out wouldn't I???

lol... They are SOOOOOOOOOO LUCKY Im not the b*tch everyone thinks I am.


Lets talk about liars. There is nothing I hate more than a liar. People who are full of empty promises, fairy tales, gossip, etc. If that isnt bad enough I know some people who steal and lie simultaneously lol. Double Whammy. That there is amazing! I couldn't pull that one off. lol. [If you feel guilty, I'm probably refering to you and u should take that up with Jesus and get ur sad life together]


And to SJU High School... Im going to need people to grow up and graduate. Stop allowing other people to deter you from everything you're SUPPOSED to be doing.

I have more to say but I need to complete my homework and hit the sack... im already an hour and change past my bedtime.

dueces LIARS :)

TEACH ME... HOW TO LOVE

Show me how to love
Show me the way to surrender my heart
[Boy] I’m so lost
Teach me how to love
How I can get my emotions involved
Teach me... how to love

I was always taught to be strong
Never let them think you care at all
Let no one get close to me
Before you and me
I done shared things with you girl about my past that I’d never tell
To anyone else
Just keep it to myself
[Boy] I know I lack affection and expressing my feelings
It took me a minute to come and admit this
But see I’m really trying to change now
Wanna love you better, show me how
I’m trying desperately
Baby, please work with me

- Musiq Soulchild


This track hits home. Its time to just be honest rite? Here I go.

Truth is, alot of the time I hide my feelings behind my sarcasm just hoping that people just GET IT. Too bad alot of them miss it. Lets not get it twisted, I mean ALOT of the things I say (lol).

When it comes to me + him relationships, articulation is always an issue. How do I tell him that I think he's great and that I'd really love to be the lady on his arm without scaring him off? I really honestly don't know what it means to love someone other than myself, family, and friends. I think I really am scared to let people IN that way. I guess when the right one comes along he'll change everything. Until then...


Where's the party!?!?!? :)

I love the way people take advantage of my kindness. On the real, I'm far too kind to people. Time and time again I keep giving people chance after chance after chance. Keep doing for people and never on the recieving side of the stick. I'm sick of it. Totally fed up. You play me once, shame on u. Play me twice, shame on me. Damn that finger always pointing at me! No more miss nice girl. POOM is back and in full effect. NO is the new response for 2007. Don't ask me for anything unless you're a part of my family or a part of my ribcage.

I just need to do some SERIOUS re-evaluating.

People don't change... U simply one day see the person they really are.

SHOP AROUND

Just because you've become a young woman now
There's still some things that you don't understand now
Before you ask some guy for his hand now
Keep your freedom for as long as you can now
My mama told me You better shop around

There's some things that I want you to know now
Just as sure as the wind's gonna blow now
The men'll come and the men are gonna go now
Before you tell 'em that you love 'em so now
My mama told me You better shop around

Try to get yourself a bargain, girl
Don't be sold on the very first one
Good-looking guys come a dime a dozen
Try to find you one who's gonna give you true loving

Before you take a man and say I do now
Make sure he's in love with you now
Make sure that his love is true now
I hate to see you feeling sad and blue now
My mama told me You better shop around

-Smokey Robinson

GUY TALK W/ THE GUYS

So I basically already know that majority of the relationships I enter will eventually lead to me being the one left to dry (like its always been). I know sex is a big thing for most guys but I honestly don't see a reason to throw it at every man I meet. (I applaud the hoes... u all are very brave). I want my first time to be with someone I love (like REALLY love). But neway, I've talked about this before. But yea...

I had some conversations with some of the guys cuz for a minute I was like "that can't be the only reason. I gotta be doin sumthn else" but I was reassured. I am as "bad" as I think I am. Im freaking awesome and if they can't deal with my choices then its their loss... not mine. (DIRTBAGS)

[THE FEEDBACK]

ThePerfctMisfit (7:33:37 PM): i give em chances n then they leave me all dry once i start liking them
WatChuSoMadAtNow (6:34:30 PM): well look on the bright side
WatChuSoMadAtNow (6:34:55 PM): just off of my experiences from talking to u .......i no that who ever does get the chance to get with u an take it to the nex level
WatChuSoMadAtNow (6:35:13 PM): has to be a special dude
WatChuSoMadAtNow (6:35:29 PM): cuz tha average is getting nowea

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relldakidd (9:35:07 AM): If they can't see what a grrrrrrrrreat*tony the tiger* person u are
Relldakidd (9:35:13 AM): Then they don't deserve u
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeanavenue (12:30:34 PM): You know chaun u really wifey material u bet not settle for no lame dude



Well in other news... we're planning a trip to Miami for memorial day weekend. This should be super. I need to get away ya know. See some new people and jus chilllllllllll.... Oh n i found some new heat... awwwwwww man


Next blog Next blog!!! lolol


Oh and my secret sister gave me a book to read... awwwwwweeeeeee. Get my spiritual life in order. "Woman thou art loosed" by T.D. Jakes. Ima start tonite after accounting homework.

-peace

THIS IS SOOO TRUE ABOUT ME LOL

Gemini - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you. Your negative traits: You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.Not the most empathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems. Your ideal partner: Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.An open minded person, who's willing to have a non-traditional relationship. Your dating style: Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy. Your seduction style: Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing. Tips for the future: Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time. Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's" Your Love Profile?

Im young, bright, and bold yet I still keep holding back from doing EVERYTHING CHAUNNA want's to do in life.

Someone once said "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

Sometimes...ok, ALOT of the time, Im scared to try and fail... or maybe try and be great at something. Either way, there's pressure.

I know I can never turn back the hands of time and un-do all the the WRONG I've done. I can only work towards attempting to make my life better.

Staying prayerful & focused is my only hope. And I've really got to stop listening to everyone's advice except my OWN.

*I always find myself BACK on this topic lol*

I need a new book to read... Any suggestions???

Why the HOES get all the LOVE...topic of discussion

Sushil said in our convo...

ThePerfctMisfit (10:17:25 AM): People make me feel like its a sin to be a virgin
Drsus625 (10:17:57 AM): don't pay that no mind chaunna seriously
ThePerfctMisfit (10:18:09 AM): its always the ones I like that can't handle it
Drsus625 (10:18:13 AM): cuz if its dudes saying it they just mad cuz they can't get it
Drsus625 (10:18:28 AM): and if its girls they just mad cuz they can't get it back


Vlad said...

"because when guys are young all they looking for is a good time
and a hoe is gonna "always" show them a "good time"

** Response to Ms. Misfit, Hoes always get our time becuz as young men we are looking for a good time, a quick nut, in and out like a robbery... But do understand we do know she's a Hoe and all we'll do is string her out and have her Gassed. Do understand that we know the difference, aint no Hoe ever taking me away from wifey!!! And that's a fact, (He smirks)**A Woman??? That right therr is a Hoe!(Vladimir S.)


lmao @ in and out like a robbery


But yeah, in response to that, the game is wack. The niggas are wack, the hoes are wack, their lives are wack and I'm great!

sooooooooooo F-U

:)

Peace

JUST SOME NOVELS I READ OVER THE SUMMER

I meant to post them a long time ago but never got around to it... Finals are over so Im back on my reading grind.

<<< [was a good book by the way lol]





>>>>
[so was this one]





<<<>

I've decided that I cried my LAST TEAR... YESTERDAY

No more of all that feeling sorry for myself. No more "Oh i wish I would have done this." "Oh iI should have done that." "Why me?" "Why now?" "Why This?" "Why That?"... Im FINISHED! I'm learning to accept the fact that I can't change the past. I'm learning to accept the fact that I can't change who I am or what I am and I am this way for a reason. Don't get it twisted, I'm not overly insecure or anything like that, however, I do have my issues. There's alot going on inside of me that not even my mother knows. Only God knows. Watever happens was predestined to happen and I'll just have to say thank u LORD anyhow b/c I know there is a plan in store for ME.

That which you sew
That also shall you reap

Im sewing like crazy right now!

With that said, anything negative in my life has to GO! I have enough baggage to carry. If you know you're a part of my life and your not doing anything to make it better than you should do you and me a favor and leave.

A MURDERER SET FREE... My Fathers'

*This will probably be THE most private thing I could share with ppl I dont even KNOW but u know what, its a reality so im finally talking*

I know many dont even know that I grew up without a father. No he was NOT a deadbeat... unfortunately, he's dead. He was killed in 1989 when I was a yr old. The killer is my uncle. Thats right, MY uncle. The brother of my mother. I can't go too into detail with the story cuz I dun kno the whole story myself.

No daddy and 17 years later the killer is released. Yup... he out. This month. September 2006. For the first time yesterday I spoke my first words to him. Surprisingly I was considerably cordial. I said hello, my how are you's and that was that. There were two things going on in mind. Do I hate him for taking away a father I never knew or do I forgive him because its what is right?



-C. Henry

A change is long overdue

Why is that when you see a caucasian succeed its the "norm" but when someone of African decent is on the road to success its something that is supposed to be "rare" and some are even "wowed" by it. "She can speak 2 languages?!? That's amazing!" Better yet, why isnt it praised amongst the Black community? Rather, it is condemed to a certain extent.

"SELL OUT." Is that what we like to call them? I'd like to know when being ingnorant became a good thing? Since when was it okay to accept the foul conditions some of us could not avoid and remain dormant and do nothing about it? Im specifically speaking of those of you stuck in the "GHETTO" in particular.

Some people were dealt a horrible hand in life, thats a given. Its messed up, yes, but why accept those conditions and stay there? Sometimes I feel as if black people are almost afraid to succeed. Like its our greatest fear. We are so afraid to shoot for the stars and miss. Some poeple act is if life just cant get any better than it is so why try? Do you really think Dr. King died for nothing?? Alot of people may think I dont understand how it is because I wasn't raised in a project and I didnt live that hard knock life. I've heard it all before . To culture myself in the eyes of certain people is to "act white." This has to be THE MOST IGNORANT statement I hear so often. Say it to me, Its a great way to piss me off. (By the way, if someone could explain to me how being educated correlates to 'acting white' please do so. Im very eager to know).


So what if i never lived in the projects. Maybe I didnt have to work AS hard as some but I personally feel as though many young black people in the ghettos of America use the ghetto as an excuse for them to act out and continue to avoid making something of themselves. Newsflash! It isn't! I know what goes on in the real world and as difficult as it is for a black man (woman) to be like cream and rise to the top, it is POSSIBLE! With hard work and determination you are bound to recieve prosperous results. Most of the time, people just dont want to work. They are plain old LAZY!They want everything to somehow magically happen overnight. Everyone is stuck on that "qet money quick" scheme and if you want the honest to God truth, its a dead end road. Let it die. Other's just sit around waiting for something great to fall into their laps. Oprah didnt get rich sitting on her couch watching the tv collect dust. Apparently sitting on your butts all this time hasn't made life any better for you either yet you still have your hand out looking for handouts. It doesnt work that way! I say, If you want something bad enough and you want to see change YOU have to get up and MAKE IT happen. Yes, it may be an arduous and lengthy process but good things come to those who wait. These things take time and patience is a virtue. People pleassssse stop settling for the minimum you can get. There is sooo much more out there for us to get.

At the end of the day, I can run my mouth 1000mph about how we can be successful minorities in America yet my message won't penetrate. I know I can't force anyone to better themselves but I damn sure will try. If we won't help uplift each other, who will? As God as my witness, If I can help one of my people (just ONE) along the way, then my living is not in vain.


p.s. Knowledge is power!

xpeacex

Lonely

"You want to think and say that you have everything you need, but then you realize that somethng is missing, someone is missing... and once you think you've found it, it goes and disappears on you and you don't understand what to do or even where to start looking for that missing piece of the puzzle. You sit at home in lonely frustration and you just wait... waiit... and wait. No where to look, no one to look for..."

DISGUSTED ...

Just when I thought people couldnt get any worse... they do! Its amazing how much you can learn about a person without them telling you. Word of advice... cover up ur tracks!

On a SEARCH for SELF...

My purpose in this life is in question. I snatch up all these great opportunities and advances in life and now Im stumped. What do I do now? Im kind of at a fork in the road and confused more than a litttle bit on which one to take. I know the answer lies within me somewhere. I just really need to find it. Dig deep. SEARCH within mySELF.





Lord guide me on this journey I take into life. You know what's best for me.

You are a Social Moderate (50% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (43% permissive) You are best described as a: CentristYou exhibit a very well-developed sense of Right and Wrong and believe in economic fairness. loc: (0, -25)modscore: (26, 30) Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Today I got a sign...

I prayed and prayed about this one thing thats been plauging my spirit for a LONG time and today, I got a sign. I wonder if it was from You.

Comming from where Im 4rm... I <33 NY

In 2004 you could catch me screaming along with Ja Rule "Yes, Im from Newwww Yooorrrkkk!!" Im a true New Yorker and couldn't possibly think of being anywhere else in the world! Despite the crime and violence, we possess alot of good that outweigh the bad. We've got style, creativity, talent, lots of love (believe it or not), intelligence, character... I can go on and on about the things that makes New York stand out above the other 49 states. Call me biased but where else can u see the coolest men wearing ladies denim? Where PINK hair is common? Where fashion is a way of LIFE? Only in NY baby! (lol). You can't try that anywhere else. I love my quiet long Island neighborhood but there's nothing like city life where we do everything fast. You've got exactly 13 seconds to run down those subway stairs before the doors to the 2 train shut in ur face. I love it! Aaaaahhhhh, Its so good to be in NY!